RP for rude_not_ginger The morning after...

[quitehomoerotic]

Follows on from this

When Jack woke it took him a while to realise where he was, a while to catch up with the night before.

But it soon came rushing back.

The sleep, what little he'd had, had still been more than he'd had in weeks. Though it still wasn't enough to relieve the ache he felt inside. An ache that only seemed to grow when he thought about the night before.

He felt like a fool. A fool for attempting to push aside pain. Guilty for it too. Guilty for trying. Guilty too for making a fool out of himself in front of the one person who might understand.

One thing he knew though, almost immediately; he should leave. The TARDIS wasn't the place for him. Not any more. It was once, when he was a man who could die, a man who could sleep a dreamless sleep. But he wasn't that man now. And besides, the Doctor had hardly asked him to stay, had he? If he left it would remove the need for the inevitable conversation that would only leave them both feeling awkward. And besides, Jack didn't want to have to hear the Doctor asking him to leave.

So he washed and dressed (and he had to admit he was thankful for the shower), and he made his way back to the console room. His feet padding as quietly as they could along the endless corridors.

He took one last look around the room, touching a light hand against the walls as he took his coat and put it back on. He smiled at it, at the memories this place and the man who owns it hold.

And he walked to the doors to leave.

Comments

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

"Going somewhere?" the Doctor called, emerging from one of the back panels of the TARDIS. He, in contrast to Jack, had not slept. Sleeping was reserved for very special or very exhausting occasions and last night, for all its emotional upset, was really neither of those cases. For a Time Lord metabolism, at least.

He headed over to the console and flipped a switch, revealing a swirling vortex on the tiny screen of the console.

"Vortex," he said. "You've travelled via-the-Vortex before. Hardly fun then, won't be much fun now."

[quitehomoerotic.livejournal.com]

Jack thought he'd got away with it. Thought he'd be able to leave without an explanation. Foolish really, thinking he could so easily get past the Doctor.

He closed his eyes a moment, cursed himself internally and turned on his heel to look at him.

"We're in flight?" He was surprised. He hadn't expected the Doctor would leave with him still on board. Inside he had quite supposed that if he hadn't left himself, he might have had a gentle nudge in that direction.

"Where to?"

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

"Eye of Orion," the Doctor said, checking his instruments. "The TARDIS has a rather nasty hangover, figured I might as well land her somewhere comfortable. The high bombardment of negative ions in the air should do her some good."

He glanced over to his companion. Had Jack really meant to just leave? To just make a run for it? Maybe the Doctor had rubbed off on him too much.

Still, there was a time and place for running. This was not that time. And, really, the TARDIS wasn't the best place for it, either.

"You ever been to the Eye of Orion?"

[quitehomoerotic.livejournal.com]

Jack attempted to look casual, and like he hadn't just been caught red handed attempting to make a swift exit. He moved his hands to his hips, adopted the air of authority of a man who used to run Torchwood.

"I.. uh. No. No I can't say I have." His eyes searched the console, scanned up along the central column. Anywhere but at the Doctor directly. Cowardice, perhaps, and something he wasn't proud of.

He felt he should explain his attempted departure, even if the explanation was less than fact. "Was just going to get some air."

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

The Doctor spoke with a distracted air. "Uh-huh. And in the vacuum of space you'd miss what little air you did have now would you push down that lever there?"

He turned a few dials and sent the TARDIS down towards the planet, dematerializing along the edge of a large cliff. Perfect.

The screen showed a beautiful countryside that ended on a long cliff drop to a beautiful, crystalline lake. Three moons set in the sky. The whole place was the epitome of peace and tranquility.

[quitehomoerotic.livejournal.com]

Jack padded his feet back over, somewhat reluctantly and a little petulant. "Oh I'd live," he pointed out without the faintest twinge of amusement.

He did as he was told though, pressing down the lever. He glanced back, just to make sure he was doing it right. Last thing he'd want to do is damage the TARDIS. He watched the Doctor, curious. "I hope you're not as random with those as it looks."

He smirked, ever so slightly, and straightened his back a little, shifting over to the monitor to get a better look. "Nice," he nodded, "Very picture postcard."

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

"Everything is precise. Just...not always precisely the same way," he said. "Which is good! Can't be predictable. Come on! Let's go explore."

He tugged on his coat and hopped ahead, glancing back to make sure Jack was following.

Outside, it was spring. The air was cool but held a heavy humidity, the way Earth felt directly after a thunderstorm. The Doctor took in a deep breath, feeling the particles in the air instantly calm him.

"The Eye of Orion," he said. "One of my favorite worlds. Besides Earth, of course."

[quitehomoerotic.livejournal.com]

Jack fought back a smile as the Doctor all but bounced out of the TARDIS door. In was an internal struggle, so much of him wanted to enjoy this, the adventure, to be back here doing this, but then a part of him shouted to stop. That it was wrong. Still too much of a broken man to enjoy the old routine.

He walked out though because he had little other choice, and despite his internal misgivings he couldn't help but feel lifted by their surroundings.

The air had a pleasing scent, and familiar too. He sniffed and furrowed his brow. "What is that? Is that... is that Ethelblossom?"

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

"Drameriablossom. Same family, slightly different flower," the Doctor said. "Didn't know you had a nose for botany."

He stepped away from the TARDIS towards the cliff's edge. The fall was long, but the atmosphere kept him from feeling any vertigo at the height. It was just breathtakingly impressive.

"All of the plants here have to survive in a constant bombardment of negative ion-infused air. Most humans can't live here for more than a few weeks without starting to feel too sluggish to leave."

[quitehomoerotic.livejournal.com]

"I don't," Jack shook his head and shoved his hands in his pockets, looking up at the sky, "Just, we used to grow Ethelblossom back when I was a kid." He smiled softly, a fond memory. "There were some trees just in from the beach. The kids would throw the seeds in winter then we'd go back a few months later to see how they'd grown." He looked off, smile faded. That was a long time ago.

A step or two behind the Doctor, he followed him over and looked over the edge. "Wow. Long way down."

He listened, interested, intrigued. "Well then it's a good job we're not most humans."

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

The Doctor turned to Jack, interested. "Where did you grow up, Jack? 51st century's a bit of a big place. But Ethelblossom...that's on the far side of the core galaxy, isn't it?"

He was taking a wild stab in the dark about where Ethelblossom was (he secretly wished for Peri's guide on herbology at this moment, though he was sure it was wedging open a door somewhere deep in the ship).

Maybe it would help Jack talk a little. Maybe talking was what he needed.

[quitehomoerotic.livejournal.com]

"Boeshane Peninsular," he smiled. Even with all the terrible things that happened, it still had its good memories. "5070 - that's when I was born." He laughed, somewhere in the back of his throat. Funny. It wasn't something he often thought about. A date of birth, what does that matter to him?

He looked over at the Doctor and continued, "Boeshane was small. Tiny place. But about 150 miles away, give or take, there was a big shipping yard. Docks for all the mining ships that went out in the sector. Three little planets nearby, full of camphus ore. Tons of the stuff. The Ethelblossom came back with some of the ships."

He smiled again, laughed at the thought of his younger self. Before everything changed. Before the creatures came. "I used to think I'd be a pilot on one of those ships."

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

The Doctor smiled, trying to imagine a very young Jack longing for the stars. He'd never been to Boeshane, but in his mind he supplied the world with an orange sky and red grass. Sure, Gallifrey was infinitely larger than most planets, but it was easy enough to imagine it small.

Oooh, but camphus ore was usually found on desert planets. Right, supplant the red grass with sand and knock up the temperature a bit. He wondered what the sky looked like on Jack's home world. It was always the sky that mattered. How he saw the rest of the universe.

"I used to want to drive a train," he admitted. "Still, think we're doing all right. Might not be ships and trains, but it's good. It is good."

[quitehomoerotic.livejournal.com]

"A train? You?" He laughed a little. It seemed almost absurd. But then in a way, most things with the Doctor were. "Guess you go a little further than that now."

He watched him and his look lingered, as if trying to read behind the Doctor's impenetrable expression. "Oh I'd say you are. Not so sure about me now." It was a little sad, but honest. More honest than he's been in recent weeks.

"I did become a pilot though, I guess," he nodded. "Had a few ships when I was in the agency, I was good too. Mostly stolen, of course. Flew a Spitfire in world war two. Oh wasn't that a beautiful bird."

He shook his head again, shaking off the past. How was it the Doctor managed to get him talking about it? "So," he breathed out, "you think this place is doing her good?" He turned his head, gesturing back towards the stationery TARDIS.

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

The Doctor watched Jack for a moment, his arms crossed and expression thoughtful. Everything his companion said was honest and that, in a way, was frightening. Jack was like the Doctor in many ways, including their lack of a real name. But the Doctor would never be honest, especially not when he was hurting.

"Do you really think that?" he asked. "You're on the most beautiful planet---next to Earth, of course---in the universe travelling in the most sophisticated spaceship in the universe, and you're concerned that you haven't done well enough?"

[quitehomoerotic.livejournal.com]

"I am," he nodded, agreeing. "I am but-" a pause, this was perhaps a little too truthful. Too close to the bone, but why hide it now? Why hide it from the Doctor of all people. "But I'm not sure I deserve it."

And maybe that was why he tried to run. Why he tried to leave the TARDIS.

"Never started out a good man, Doctor. Looks like sometimes things come full circle."

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

"I think you deserve it," the Doctor said, honestly. It was too honest for the Doctor, so he looked away, out to the horizon. "If you can't live with yourself, you might as well be able to live with the rest of the universe."

He let out a little sigh, thinking about the many, many things he did that kept him from living with himself. Donna, Gallifrey, Adric...so many. But he did, he kept travelling.

It had to help Jack. It had to.

[quitehomoerotic.livejournal.com]

Jack's head turned rather sharply to the Doctor beside him. Looking at him full on. He was surprised by that response. Jack had always seen the Doctor as a man to impress, to live up to. If he'd even half way achieved that then maybe, just maybe things might be better than he'd thought.

He didn't ask why the Doctor thought that, though a large part of him wanted to. But seeing the expression on the other man's profile... he understood that. Jack understood the sentiment.

So perhaps it was his turn to lift the mood.

He smiled a full grin that wasn't entirely real but was almost uncomfortably easy to fake; lifted his arm, displaying the vortex manipulator around his wrist.

"That mean you're gonna fix this then?"

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

"Absolutely not," the Doctor said, sparing a glance over to the communicator. "Give you free reign on the universe with a space-hopper? No, no. Besides, vortex manipulators, those are so 51st century. Nah, you should have a better ride."

He looked back to the TARDIS, then back at Jack.

"What do you say?" he asked with a small, genuine smile. "Best ship in the universe, plenty of room."

[quitehomoerotic.livejournal.com]

Jack began to roll his eyes as the Doctor started his little speech about his 'space hopper'.

"Oy! So am I!" He frowned. But it was more perfunctory than anything, and he wasn't sure it was true any more either. He's no more from the 51st century than he is from Cardiff. A nowhere man.

His diverted thoughts were quickly shut down though as he was snapped back into reality by the Doctor's question. His mouth sat open a little in shock he didn't catch himself quick enough to mask. He turned his head and looked back at the TARDIS, as though it might not be there and the Doctor could be referring to some other ship.

Of course, he wasn't.

He wasn't sure at first. The thought almost scared him. Scared him because it's something he'd wanted to badly in the past. Wanted more than anything. And now, now he wasn't sure he was the same man. Wasn't sure he could be that man.

Despite himself though, a smile was spreading across his face, slow and sure. He took in a deep breath, filling his lungs, and he nodded as he turned his head back to the Doctor.

"Okay. Okay why not." Because try as he might, he couldn't think of a genuine reason he shouldn't, and so many that he should.

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

"Why not? Of course why not! It'll be brilliant. Besides, the TARDIS would miss you if you left. Sentimental old thing, but I think I mentioned that."

The Doctor would miss him, too. He had too many regrets with Jack. Leaving him when he should've stayed, neglecting him when he was alone. Oh, the Doctor let Jack down, and why? For all that some considered him a hero, the Doctor was, at hearts, a coward. And he ran away.

"Doesn't mean she's a taxi," the Doctor said with a good-natured scolding tone. "I still pick where we go."

[quitehomoerotic.livejournal.com]

"Well, I wouldn't want to let her down," Jack nodded, trying not to think about the people he had let down. Trying not to think about Gwen picking up the pieces on her own, and Alice trying to create a life from scratch.

"Since when do you pick where you go?" Jack smirked, teasing right back. "I thought you just pressed buttons and hoped for the best."

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

"Oi, now, the TARDIS and I have a mutual understanding," he said, stepping back to his ship and putting a hand on her side. He could feel her hum in his mind, quiet and content to be in this place, content to be with her Time Lord. Jack's presence still made her uncomfortable, but she liked it when the Doctor was happy. Even when it made her jealous.

Sentimental old thing.

"I tell her where I want to go and she makes sure we end up somewhere interesting," the Doctor said, grinning back at Jack. "Hell of a life, though. Never know quite where you'll end up."

[quitehomoerotic.livejournal.com]

Jack turned to look at the Doctor and his beloved TARDIS. It made him smile. The Doctor's one true companion, one that'll never leave. It was nice to know that he had that.

"Usually Earth," he pointed out with a slight smirk. "More often than not."

It made him think though. The Doctor so did like that planet. Spent a lot of time there. A lot of time saving it. Perhaps it was selfish of Jack to continue, asking what he did.

"One request?" He raises his hands almost defensively, "And this isn't me doing the whole taxi thing. But could we maybe steer clear of Earth? For a while, at least."

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

The Doctor raised an eyebrow, but nodded. "Should see a few places I haven't seen before, I think. The old favorites are, well, the old favorites, but they're not quite as much fun as a new place. The new smells, the new air, the new ground..."

He hopped once, as if to demonstrate. Orion's entire system had the same relative gravity as Earth, but plenty of other planets didn't. It was always a joy to see what he felt when he walked off of the TARDIS.

Earth, of course, was special to the Doctor in other ways. Not just his favorite planet, but...other ways. Ways he doubted he'd share with Jack. He didn't share with anyone, actually.