RP for rude_not_ginger The morning after...

[quitehomoerotic]

Follows on from this

When Jack woke it took him a while to realise where he was, a while to catch up with the night before.

But it soon came rushing back.

The sleep, what little he'd had, had still been more than he'd had in weeks. Though it still wasn't enough to relieve the ache he felt inside. An ache that only seemed to grow when he thought about the night before.

He felt like a fool. A fool for attempting to push aside pain. Guilty for it too. Guilty for trying. Guilty too for making a fool out of himself in front of the one person who might understand.

One thing he knew though, almost immediately; he should leave. The TARDIS wasn't the place for him. Not any more. It was once, when he was a man who could die, a man who could sleep a dreamless sleep. But he wasn't that man now. And besides, the Doctor had hardly asked him to stay, had he? If he left it would remove the need for the inevitable conversation that would only leave them both feeling awkward. And besides, Jack didn't want to have to hear the Doctor asking him to leave.

So he washed and dressed (and he had to admit he was thankful for the shower), and he made his way back to the console room. His feet padding as quietly as they could along the endless corridors.

He took one last look around the room, touching a light hand against the walls as he took his coat and put it back on. He smiled at it, at the memories this place and the man who owns it hold.

And he walked to the doors to leave.

Comments

[quitehomoerotic.livejournal.com]

"A train? You?" He laughed a little. It seemed almost absurd. But then in a way, most things with the Doctor were. "Guess you go a little further than that now."

He watched him and his look lingered, as if trying to read behind the Doctor's impenetrable expression. "Oh I'd say you are. Not so sure about me now." It was a little sad, but honest. More honest than he's been in recent weeks.

"I did become a pilot though, I guess," he nodded. "Had a few ships when I was in the agency, I was good too. Mostly stolen, of course. Flew a Spitfire in world war two. Oh wasn't that a beautiful bird."

He shook his head again, shaking off the past. How was it the Doctor managed to get him talking about it? "So," he breathed out, "you think this place is doing her good?" He turned his head, gesturing back towards the stationery TARDIS.

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

The Doctor watched Jack for a moment, his arms crossed and expression thoughtful. Everything his companion said was honest and that, in a way, was frightening. Jack was like the Doctor in many ways, including their lack of a real name. But the Doctor would never be honest, especially not when he was hurting.

"Do you really think that?" he asked. "You're on the most beautiful planet---next to Earth, of course---in the universe travelling in the most sophisticated spaceship in the universe, and you're concerned that you haven't done well enough?"

[quitehomoerotic.livejournal.com]

"I am," he nodded, agreeing. "I am but-" a pause, this was perhaps a little too truthful. Too close to the bone, but why hide it now? Why hide it from the Doctor of all people. "But I'm not sure I deserve it."

And maybe that was why he tried to run. Why he tried to leave the TARDIS.

"Never started out a good man, Doctor. Looks like sometimes things come full circle."

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

"I think you deserve it," the Doctor said, honestly. It was too honest for the Doctor, so he looked away, out to the horizon. "If you can't live with yourself, you might as well be able to live with the rest of the universe."

He let out a little sigh, thinking about the many, many things he did that kept him from living with himself. Donna, Gallifrey, Adric...so many. But he did, he kept travelling.

It had to help Jack. It had to.

[quitehomoerotic.livejournal.com]

Jack's head turned rather sharply to the Doctor beside him. Looking at him full on. He was surprised by that response. Jack had always seen the Doctor as a man to impress, to live up to. If he'd even half way achieved that then maybe, just maybe things might be better than he'd thought.

He didn't ask why the Doctor thought that, though a large part of him wanted to. But seeing the expression on the other man's profile... he understood that. Jack understood the sentiment.

So perhaps it was his turn to lift the mood.

He smiled a full grin that wasn't entirely real but was almost uncomfortably easy to fake; lifted his arm, displaying the vortex manipulator around his wrist.

"That mean you're gonna fix this then?"

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

"Absolutely not," the Doctor said, sparing a glance over to the communicator. "Give you free reign on the universe with a space-hopper? No, no. Besides, vortex manipulators, those are so 51st century. Nah, you should have a better ride."

He looked back to the TARDIS, then back at Jack.

"What do you say?" he asked with a small, genuine smile. "Best ship in the universe, plenty of room."

[quitehomoerotic.livejournal.com]

Jack began to roll his eyes as the Doctor started his little speech about his 'space hopper'.

"Oy! So am I!" He frowned. But it was more perfunctory than anything, and he wasn't sure it was true any more either. He's no more from the 51st century than he is from Cardiff. A nowhere man.

His diverted thoughts were quickly shut down though as he was snapped back into reality by the Doctor's question. His mouth sat open a little in shock he didn't catch himself quick enough to mask. He turned his head and looked back at the TARDIS, as though it might not be there and the Doctor could be referring to some other ship.

Of course, he wasn't.

He wasn't sure at first. The thought almost scared him. Scared him because it's something he'd wanted to badly in the past. Wanted more than anything. And now, now he wasn't sure he was the same man. Wasn't sure he could be that man.

Despite himself though, a smile was spreading across his face, slow and sure. He took in a deep breath, filling his lungs, and he nodded as he turned his head back to the Doctor.

"Okay. Okay why not." Because try as he might, he couldn't think of a genuine reason he shouldn't, and so many that he should.

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

"Why not? Of course why not! It'll be brilliant. Besides, the TARDIS would miss you if you left. Sentimental old thing, but I think I mentioned that."

The Doctor would miss him, too. He had too many regrets with Jack. Leaving him when he should've stayed, neglecting him when he was alone. Oh, the Doctor let Jack down, and why? For all that some considered him a hero, the Doctor was, at hearts, a coward. And he ran away.

"Doesn't mean she's a taxi," the Doctor said with a good-natured scolding tone. "I still pick where we go."

[quitehomoerotic.livejournal.com]

"Well, I wouldn't want to let her down," Jack nodded, trying not to think about the people he had let down. Trying not to think about Gwen picking up the pieces on her own, and Alice trying to create a life from scratch.

"Since when do you pick where you go?" Jack smirked, teasing right back. "I thought you just pressed buttons and hoped for the best."

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

"Oi, now, the TARDIS and I have a mutual understanding," he said, stepping back to his ship and putting a hand on her side. He could feel her hum in his mind, quiet and content to be in this place, content to be with her Time Lord. Jack's presence still made her uncomfortable, but she liked it when the Doctor was happy. Even when it made her jealous.

Sentimental old thing.

"I tell her where I want to go and she makes sure we end up somewhere interesting," the Doctor said, grinning back at Jack. "Hell of a life, though. Never know quite where you'll end up."

[quitehomoerotic.livejournal.com]

Jack turned to look at the Doctor and his beloved TARDIS. It made him smile. The Doctor's one true companion, one that'll never leave. It was nice to know that he had that.

"Usually Earth," he pointed out with a slight smirk. "More often than not."

It made him think though. The Doctor so did like that planet. Spent a lot of time there. A lot of time saving it. Perhaps it was selfish of Jack to continue, asking what he did.

"One request?" He raises his hands almost defensively, "And this isn't me doing the whole taxi thing. But could we maybe steer clear of Earth? For a while, at least."

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

The Doctor raised an eyebrow, but nodded. "Should see a few places I haven't seen before, I think. The old favorites are, well, the old favorites, but they're not quite as much fun as a new place. The new smells, the new air, the new ground..."

He hopped once, as if to demonstrate. Orion's entire system had the same relative gravity as Earth, but plenty of other planets didn't. It was always a joy to see what he felt when he walked off of the TARDIS.

Earth, of course, was special to the Doctor in other ways. Not just his favorite planet, but...other ways. Ways he doubted he'd share with Jack. He didn't share with anyone, actually.

[quitehomoerotic.livejournal.com]

"Thanks," he breathed out quietly, thankful of the fact the Doctor didn't make an issue out of the request. He'd end up back there one way or another, he was all but certain of that. But he couldn't cope with it now. Not yet. He'd spent so many lifetimes on that planet. He needed to breathe different air.

"Like Adon," he suggested as he gestured a hand out towards the Doctor, "Eighty percent gravity and ninety percent oxygen. "Sensations loosen inhibitions. Few good bars there I used to go to. They made quite a business out of it."

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

"Ooooh, never been to Adon. I'll have to make sure to stay away from the hypervodka prior. High oxygen levels and alcohol, not quite so good for the Time Lord system. Too inebriated too fast and we can't quite control ourselves afterwards." Of course, the mention of intoxication brought a bubble of embarrassment underneath the Doctor's collar. He didn't like being out of control in the best of times, much less a time----well, an emotional time.

He spun around, leading the way down a path.

"Allons-y. This is a time on this planet I've never been to. Let's explore."

[quitehomoerotic.livejournal.com]

Jack smiled, ever so slightly, "I think that's kinda the point, Doctor." Because of course nobody ever went to Adon to exert self control. Not by a long shot.

He cleared his throat before he allowed any embarrassment of the previous night to surface, and was only too glad for the Doctor to change the subject.

Jack had to admit, it made him smile. It was nice to not be the leader, to be the one that followed (and to follow him).

"Speaking of time," he asked, curious, "when are we?"

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

"67.5 RE," the Doctor said. "That's Rassilon Era. The Eye of Orion still functions on Gallifreyan time. Never really understood why. The planet is infinitely younger and no Time Lords really visited here. Except me, but I like out of the way places."

He stuffed his hands in his pockets and hopped from rock to rock along the path, enjoying the feel of squishy alien stones beneath his trainers. No matter how often he came here, it was always different.

Pity it didn't have humans on it. It might be even better than Earth if it did.

[quitehomoerotic.livejournal.com]

"How does Gallifrey even have time?" Jack questioned and pulled a confused face. "I mean, doesn't time sort of stop mattering when you can control it?"

He followed along, looking down at the ground under his feet. It had been a long time since he'd really experienced anywhere that wasn't Earth.

"Must have been hell for trying to arrange meetings. You say Tuesday and everyone turns up on a different one!" He laughed, and he was fully aware that that's not exactly how things work, but it was an amusing concept nonetheless.

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

"That's why Gallifrey needed a set time. Rassilon time. And the time-quantum lock. Means if you're called for a meeting, you'd best hop in the TARDIS and go. It's how we sort out our ages." He paused. "How I sort out my age."

It was frustrating, at times. He'd let something slip or forget to use the past tense and he'd feel loss, regret, all those wonderful emotions.

"But! Half the galaxies surrounding that system picked up the time, just because it made trade easier."

[quitehomoerotic.livejournal.com]

Jack felt immediately bad for bringing up a topic that could have been nothing but painful for the Doctor. Jack knew how he felt thinking about home, or thinking about Earth. It could only be a million times worse for the Doctor.

So he diverted the conversation slightly. Took a hook and ran with it. "Exactly how old are you, Doctor?" He smiled, curious, "Go on, you can tell me, I won't tell a soul."

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

"A little younger than my tongue, older than my teeth," the Doctor said, pointedly. "And you, Jackie-boy? Plan on admitting it? Have you reached the big two-oh-oh?"

Blimey, the Doctor couldn't even remember when he reached 200. Well, in his defence that was well over a thousand years ago. Not that he'd admit it to Jack or himself, of course.

[quitehomoerotic.livejournal.com]

"I'd say you're a lot older than you're teeth and tongue give you didn't have them when I first met you," Jack nodded as he shoved his hands in his pockets, pushing the sides of his great coat back.

"Me?" He laughed and shook his head. "Guess that depends how you count it." He wonders if the Doctor knew everything that happened. He didn't suppose he did.

"Technically I'm about, oh, 2,190, but that's if you're counting while I'm dead. Which for my own pride I tend not to. So, if you include my recent five years in hell -don't ask- then I'm about 190, give or take."

He shook his head. It was funny to put it into such plain terms. A thought struck him, an odd one, "You know I can't even remember when my birthday is. Equivalent birthday, I mean, on the Gregorian calendar."

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

The Doctor was impressed. He passed the big two-oh-oh-oh. That technically made Jack older than he was and, really, that made the Doctor a little insecure. Not that he'd admit it, of course.

"Guess we're just two old travelers, then," he said. "In an old box. Not that I'd go off and call her old while she's around. That'd just be rude."

And the one thing the Doctor wasn't was rude to the TARDIS. Well, not that often. And when he was, he generally regretted it.

"I'll be particularly impressed once you've reached one million, though. Until then, pssh. Thousands are just numbers." He teased with a wide grin.

[quitehomoerotic.livejournal.com]

"Hey!" Jack barked good naturedly. "Less of the old. I'll have you know I don't look a day over 30." He was of course nearer 35 when he stopped ageing, but even immortality wasn't enough to stop him from wanting to shave a few years off.

"Oh and you're never rude," he nodded, deadpan, a gentle smile tugging the corner of his lip.

"And please. I don't even want to think about it." There was a silent 'I hope I don't last that long' that he didn't need to voice. Even though he knew he had forever (or expected as much) it was a scary prospect.

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

"I know what you mean." Time Lords never lived that long. Even if they reached the multi-thousand, they tended to just let themselves disintigrate or give in to their last regeneration early. But Facts? Facts were sorta stuck.

The Doctor's attention momentarily broke from his companion and he glanced over the forest edge to a stream of blue-white smoke coming from the center of the forest.

"That doesn't look good," he said.

[quitehomoerotic.livejournal.com]

Jack's head ducked for a moment. It scared him to think about it. About what he'd become as the years went on.

His attention was pulled away though and he looked up, following the line of the Doctor's gaze.

"So I guess that's the direction we're headed in then?" He smirked.