The touch, in many ways, felt like a hot coal against his chest. He looked at her hand in the dirty water as though it were alien. But he made no attempt to shoo her away. He understood what her reaching out meant.
But as she spoke, he felt his eyes burn and dampen. Tears he wasn't aware he was any longer capable of crying.
"And now this is all you'll think when you think of me."
He continued to watch her still and she was agreeing to help. It was a thought alone that surprised him. He'd expected stubborn refusal. But here she was, giving him what he asked. But could he allow it? Could he honestly?
Even now, he couldn't. He couldn't have her be the one to have that on her. She wasn't Torchwood, she wasn't cut from the cloth that meant she should have to witness the harm and death of people she cared for. He wouldn't turn her into a murderer too.
"I need..." he said, stalling a little. "I need a room. A dark room, no light. A bed and some water. I need... my hair... I need to sleep."
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2010-03-22 05:50 am (UTC)But as she spoke, he felt his eyes burn and dampen. Tears he wasn't aware he was any longer capable of crying.
"And now this is all you'll think when you think of me."
He continued to watch her still and she was agreeing to help. It was a thought alone that surprised him. He'd expected stubborn refusal. But here she was, giving him what he asked. But could he allow it? Could he honestly?
Even now, he couldn't. He couldn't have her be the one to have that on her. She wasn't Torchwood, she wasn't cut from the cloth that meant she should have to witness the harm and death of people she cared for. He wouldn't turn her into a murderer too.
"I need..." he said, stalling a little. "I need a room. A dark room, no light. A bed and some water. I need... my hair... I need to sleep."