for rude_not_ginger Terra Novus: Outpost 7

[quitehomoerotic]

Follows this.

Smack.

Jack landed on the marbled floor with an unceremonious fall.

"Yeah, but you missed it," he said finishing the sentiment the Doctor started before he activated the manipulator.

He pulled himself up from the floor and stretched himself out, looking over to the Doctor to make sure he was okay and all in one piece.

"We're about 800 years to the left," he said as he checked his wrist strap. "Set it on random, thought it'd be more fun that way."

He grinned over at him, and stretched his neck out a little more as he looked around.

What he saw, was nothing short of spectacular.

The walls looked to be made of stone and were decorated with gargoyles and elaborate gold filigree flourishes. Ahead of them, up on the wall, was a vast round glass stain window. Small lights illuminated it around the circle, but just about visible through the other side was the vague starlight in the distance. They were still in space, not on a planet surface.

"Well this is new... what is this, some sort of space monastery?"

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[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

The Doctor raised an eyebrow at the suggestion, and then slowly pulled his hand away from Jack's touch. Close, pah. The Doctor didn't get close to people anymore. It was a rule, after Donna. Hell, before Donna. Before everything that happened.

He wouldn't know what to do with himself if he got close to someone again. He wasn't sure Jack would know, either. He hopped off of the bench and took a few steps away, running his hand through his hair.

"Right, so the things I don't remember include you as a companion and why we would have our memories altered." He gestured to Jack. "What about that chip. What do you remember? Why was it going off?"

[quitehomoerotic.livejournal.com]

Jack felt his heart drop a little as the Doctor moved away. He didn't know why it mattered so much, not really.

But no... no if he thought about it, he knew exactly why it mattered. It seemed ridiculous to him, utterly ridiculous, but when he looked at it, when he really looked, he knew it was real, as unbelievable as it might seem.

He took comfort though in the fact that as he cleared his mind, the memories faded. He saw the last few months again as him alone. Alone was painful, but he was used to that. Seeing what he wanted (did he want that) as a reality he couldn't even remember... that was so much harder.

"Yeah," Jack said softly, "yeah."

With a heavy breath he looked at the manipulator. The chip. He thought about the chip.

And he remembered.

"Oh no." His face paled. "Oh no. I have to go. I have to get out of here. Really, I have to get out of here right now."

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

"You do?" the Doctor asked with a disbelieving snort. Right, of course. Had to make a run for it, that made sense, because he was the cause of---

No. No, it was the way Jack said it. The tone of his voice, the pure fear. Something was wrong, something that would terrify a fixed point. And, really, when invincible things were scared, it was probably a good idea to be scared as well.

"What's happening, Jack?" he demanded. "What does it mean?"

[quitehomoerotic.livejournal.com]

It was hard. Hard to remember. Because every time he stopped trying to remember, he stopped seeing the truth. The only thing that seemed to help is that whatever was changing his old memories wasn't changing his new, so everything he'd discovered, he knew was there. He knew he only had to look.

"I'm going to die," he said quickly. "If I stay. That chip..." he concentrated on it, tried to work it out, pin it down so he could examine the right memory. It didn't come easily. He hit on them arguing first, and then on them talking and then... bingo.

"You put it there," he told him. "There's someone following us. Someone-- he's--- damn what is it?" he got frustrated with himself. "I don't know!" But he's trying to use me... my life. I don't die, Doctor, I can't die. He's trying to use that. That bleeping it was doing means he's on his way. He's on his way and I'm running out of time. I'm sorry, I really have to go."

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

"The hell you are," the Doctor said. He pushed through his disgust and reached out for Jack's hand. He caught it in as firm a grip as he could.

"I've got a TARDIS, and she'll get us out of here. I'm not leaving you behind." It was idiotic, possibly, but he felt like that was the most important thing. He couldn't leave Jack behind.

Idiotic, of course. He never left anyone behind, ever.

"Allons-y!"

[quitehomoerotic.livejournal.com]

Jack gripped back on the Doctor's had as though holding it was naturally. He didn't do holding hands, so how could it be? But, he just knew if he tried to remember, he'd see the reason why. It was natural. It must have been.

He nodded and gripped tight before starting to run along with him and back up over the ridge.

As they dashed the landscape seemed to haze in his vision, and it blurred as though he'd had too much to drink.

"Hurry hurry hurry," he said, trying to keep his vision focussed on the TARDIS ahead, sure that it was a bad sign. It had to be a bad sign.

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

The Doctor glanced back once. The sky was darkening, and he could almost swear he saw a black cloud descending towards them. He turned his head back to the TARDIS and sped up his run.

"Almost there. Almost---"

He skidded to a halt right in front of the TARDIS doors and pulled out his key. The door opened and he gestured for Jack to head in first. Whatever that chip was, they needed to repair it, and soon. And whatever that thing was, they needed to get away from it now.

He looked back to the place where the distortion was. It would be harder to set the universe straight if they left, but there was no choice.

He slammed the TARDIS doors behind himself as he bolted in, and raced for the console.

[quitehomoerotic.livejournal.com]

Jack all but fell into the TARDIS. He stumbled forward a step or two before falling down onto his knees on the metal grating.

It was bigger on the inside. He supposed he should be surprised by that, but he wasn't, not entirely.

He looked up at the domed roof of the console room and back to the Doctor as he ran from the door to the console. Standing up, he caught his breath.

"That was close," he said, "really close."

Whatever it was they were running from --and that was a hard memory to recall-- the Doctor had just saved him from it. Jack was acutely aware of that fact.

He supported himself on one of the coral balustrades, and it felt oddly warm beneath his fingers. Looking over at the Doctor, he nodded, "You just saved my life. Thank you."

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

"Yeah, but we're not out of the woods yet," the Doctor said. "Welcome aboard, well, no, you don't really need a welcome if you've been here before, but!"

As he spoke, he raced around the console, pulling levers and twisting dials, until the TARDIS was ready to go, screaming back into life.

She was still oddly quiet in his mind, confused about the break in space, maybe? Or something else?

"Hold on!" He slammed his fist against the randomizer, sending the TARDIS hurtling through space. "We should lose it this way!"

[quitehomoerotic.livejournal.com]

Jack held tight to the coral as they shook through space; the movement of the TARDIS throwing them back and forth.

"You weren't kidding!" he said, gripping on to keep upright, but laughing at the same time. He held himself there until the TARDIS stopped shaking, and only then did he take a step forward, circling around the console and looking around as though it were his first time.

In many ways, it was.

"This place is beautiful," he told the Doctor, in awe at his surroundings. "Everything I said about it being a box I take it all back. This is... really something."

He ran his hands along the coral around the console, keeping out the Doctor's way as he moved. But then his eyes caught something. Something under the console. It slotted somewhere into his memory and he ducked down and took hold of it, pulling it over.

"This is a tribophysical waveform macro-kinetic extrapolator..." he glanced up at the Doctor. "I put this here."

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

"Yep. And it's bigger on the inside," the Doctor said, as though he were reciting something from wrote. "And it's actually a she. Very temperamental, my TARDIS, so make sure you don't insult her."

He followed Jack's movements, looking down at the extrapolator. He thought he knew where it came from, but trying to seriously consider who put it where caused a wave of pain to course through him.

"I believe you," he said. "Seems like every time I try to think of our past, all I get is pain. Should thank you, though. That extrapolator's been put through a lot of use."

He knelt next to Jack and gestured to his manipulator. "Detection device for that creature, then? Wonder why we haven't destroyed it."

[quitehomoerotic.livejournal.com]

"Mm, I know," Jack said almost absently. He was in his memories again, trying to work them out. Trying to pick out detail. "And my room is just down that corridor, up the stairs and third on the left," he said and shook his head. It was... unpleasant, how the sets of memories seem to merge and shift.

He turned his head to look at the Doctor by his side and nodded. "Ironic that. Whenever I try and think of our past I get-- well, you don't want to know what I get. Guess me and you have just got to start from scratch."

Looking back to the manipulator he sighed, "Yeah, seems so. Guess we can't. I mean, I'm not the sort to beat around the bush and I doubt you are either."

Lifting a hand he cradled his head. It was hard trying to muddle through the memories. "Check your pocket," he said. "I think you've got something. Something you made?"

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

"Wouldn't be too much of a surprise," the Doctor said. "Considering the number of coffee pots and toasters I take apart to put things together."

All the same, he did as Jack instructed, rifling through his pockets until he came across a strange, cobbled-together device that looked like it was pieces of a hotel room dining set and some old computer chips.

He didn't even try to think about what it was, he knew there'd just be a big, gaping hole in his memory. "The other half of the detection device, I'm guessing?"

[quitehomoerotic.livejournal.com]

"Guess so," Jack said with a slight shrug. He wasn't sure. He wanted to look but then he didn't. Memories seemed to be grouped together and if he tried to remember one he remembered a block around them.

He looked at the device in the Doctor's hands and thought about it. He saw London, a hotel room. The two of them on the bed. Frosty. The wrong memory. He thought again.

"We're trying to make him follow us..." Jack said slowly as he recalled it. And there it was. "Anti-time. We're trying to get him into anti time. He's called the Marquis."

He took another deep breath and glanced upwards. Remembering took effort. A lot of effort. He let his eyes settle up on the console and did his best not to think about anything at all.

But then his mind never did listen properly, and before he could stop himself he was thinking of himself and the Doctor kissing up against it. Well that was a little surprising. His head turned sharply and he looked at the Doctor again.

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

The Doctor, oblivious to Jack's other new memory, rifled through his pocket until he came up with another strange object, a folded-up menu. Folded like he was explaining anti-time.

"Oh, I am good," he said with a wide grin. "Keep the Marquis on our trail, lead him on to anti time, expel my own life energy to keep him there. Not a bad plan at all."

He flipped one of the folded corners over. "Risky, but I imagine that I'd already thought of everything by that point." He hopped up and leaned against the console, still focused in his brilliant folded menu.

[quitehomoerotic.livejournal.com]

Jack stayed quiet at the Doctor stood up and back to the console. He stayed far too quiet and he couldn't stop looking at him. Staring at him and forgetting to talk.

He couldn't stop looking at him and remembering. There was a time when they'd been happy together. That time was a while ago but it was there, solid.

These weren't the memories that Jack wanted to access at all. But they flooded in just by his looking at him. The taste of his lips, the cool touch of his skin. The way he could moan by touching his neck. The way they'd fit together.

No, Jack thought. No, don't remember it. Maybe it wasn't a memory at all, maybe it was... no, no point pretending. It was a memory.

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

"---but actually it's a reverse subaligned multithermal system with a recalibrated subcortex, keeping everything in line!" the Doctor hadn't stopped talking, of course, because he was still verymuch pleased with his own work.

"Now, since I'm just that clever, I bet I can repair this with just the last bits of the toaster I've got in the kitchen," he grinned madly at Jack. The grin slowly faded, though.

"Everything all right?"

[quitehomoerotic.livejournal.com]

Jack hadn't been listening to the Doctor.

He was aware he'd been talking, insomuch as he'd been watching his lips move. He was sure he'd think about the words later. He's probably registered them on some level. But no, he was rather thinking about his lips and the fact he could remember kissing them.

"Hmm... what?" Jack said, realising he'd been asked something. "Oh--" he cleared his throat, "fine. Fine just... remembering. Doesn't matter."

With a push against the floor he stood himself up and offered the Doctor a tight lipped smile, feeling a little like a teenager been caught doing something he shouldn't. Oh well, the Doctor seemed oblivious enough.

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

"Anything important?" he asked, tilting his head to the side. The Doctor didn't have to know Jack well to know that his smile was hardly genuine. Something bad, then? Something the Doctor had done?

Maybe he'd hurt Jack, somehow. Maybe that was why they landed, so Jack could get away. For some reason, that felt right, like it had happened to someone he heard about somewhere.

"Might be easier in the Zero Room," he offered. "Remembering without any interference." A beat. "Do you know what the Zero Room is?" That would be a first.

[quitehomoerotic.livejournal.com]

"No," he said quickly with an accompanying shake of his head. "Well, yes, but it's fine. Really." It wasn't like he could tell him what he was remembering, after all. The Doctor saw him as a practical stranger, he couldn't start telling him about that sex in the shower-- oh god the sex in the shower... No. No, focus, Jack. Have to focus. Have to stop letting the mind drift. But oh was it a nice place to drif-- No. Stop it.

The Zero Room? Now there was something else he could focus on. The mention of it was like a lightbulb turning on behind his eyes.

"Yes! Yes. We went in there. You went in there. There was... something. We'd been away. You'd been away too long. It helped..." he laughed at the irony of it as he realised what he was about to say, "It helped you remember."

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

He looked down the hall. Been away from what too long? What could he have been parted from that made him forget? Jack? Seemed unlikely. Though a generally good bloke (despite all outward appearances), he wasn't bonded to the Doctor, as far as he could tell. Still the Zero Room would be inviting.

He didn't think it would help, not with time distortion of this magnitude, but it might help Jack. And, really, that was more important, helping someone who needed it. Helping Jack.

They were close, Jack had said. The Doctor wondered just how close. Close enough that his need to take care of him rippled back through the cosmos.

He nodded. "Right, I'll take you there. This way."

[quitehomoerotic.livejournal.com]

Jack nodded. Good, right, take him to the Zero Room. Right, something to focus on as he walked behind him, something that wasn't--- oh the Doctor really had a very nice ass, didn't he?

Jack Harkness get a grip.

But really, it was very nice and those trousers were very tight and oh could he remember what it looked like without the trousers? It was interesting to try.

Maybe when they got to the Zero Room the Doctor would remember. That's what happened last time, isn't it?

"So uh, think it might clear your head. This Zero Room?"

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

The Doctor turned back to Jack and shook his head. "I'm sorry. It filters out interference, it doesn't reconstruct timelines. I don't---"

He took in a breath and shook his head. Time was complicated, but if they were running from this thing and had to destroy it in anti time, there was very little they could do to go back and reconstruct what had happened.

"Once the Marquis is trapped in anti-time, the altercations he made to the timeline will be permanent," he said. "I won't ever get them back."

[quitehomoerotic.livejournal.com]

And there, Jack was sharply and swiftly pulled from the more sordid corners of his mind.

"What?" he said, fully aware he must look like he's just taken a punch to the gut.

"No but- but I can remember. I can see it. I can remember it all. I just have to try. It's all still there." He protested, but at the same time he knew it wasn't the same for the Doctor. Nothing was ever the same from the Doctor.

And it sunk in then. Jack realised it wasn't just so superficial. He and the Doctor. It had been more than what he'd let his mind focus on. It had been much more. It had been, from both sides, love.

"Doctor... you've gotta remember. We've both got to remember."

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

"It's not just a matter of memories, Jack, the timeline has been altered," he said, his voice calm and resigned. "You only remember because you're a fixed point in time, and whatever temporal distortion affected me washed over you. For me, it might as well have happened in another universe. I get vague feelings of it, but it's not the same."

It was cruel, he figured, telling Jack this. He could've just let him believe that it would be all right, that they'd remember eventually and be happy companions again. But somewhere in him, the Doctor believed that would be wrong. Like it would be breaking a promise he never made.

"I'm sorry."