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rude_not_ginger:Two Immortals One TARDIS Insert scene. Valent
May. 25th, 2010 03:15 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
It had been 50 years since Jack had seen the Doctor. It had been 50 years since Jack had been Jack. 50 years, and he still felt the same. Some days he hated that, it frustrated him and annoyed him and made him want to scream. And some days, it just made him lonely. This was one of those days.
It was Valentines day. A stupid Earth holiday that really meant nothing, but people put so much stock into. Everywhere you went there were balloons shaped like hearts and people holding hands and declaring their love. It made Jack grumpy, and he could never and would never explain why.
So he shut himself away from it. He was in a small flat in a city that seemed to be nothing but small flats. Somewhere full of people where he could at the same time, be completely alone.
And he sat on his own, watching broadcasts on a television with a bottle of scotch to soothe his pains.
50 years, and it still felt like yesterday.
It was Valentines day. A stupid Earth holiday that really meant nothing, but people put so much stock into. Everywhere you went there were balloons shaped like hearts and people holding hands and declaring their love. It made Jack grumpy, and he could never and would never explain why.
So he shut himself away from it. He was in a small flat in a city that seemed to be nothing but small flats. Somewhere full of people where he could at the same time, be completely alone.
And he sat on his own, watching broadcasts on a television with a bottle of scotch to soothe his pains.
50 years, and it still felt like yesterday.
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Date: 2010-05-29 07:52 pm (UTC)He opened up his mind, showing Jack how much he missed him, some of the long nights spent staring at the console, considering how to find him and then chickening out at the last minute, thinking he saw him on planets but never following, just in case he was right. He wanted to be here, but he wouldn't have allowed himself to be if it wasn't for a lowered worry of consequences.
"I could sober up," he offered. He smirked. "If you're willing to wait."
He didn't want to.
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Date: 2010-05-29 08:01 pm (UTC)Over the last 50 years Jack had been of the opinion that the Doctor left him because he didn't want him any more. He thought something had happened that made him want to leave him. Well, that much was true, but perhaps it was never what he thought it was.
It threw confusion into everything he had thought, and it made him want to re-evaluate it all. And maybe he would. But not right now.
He pressed his forehead forward against the Doctor's and took a deep breath. "50 years," he said. "I think I've waited long enough."
And he leaned in to kiss him again as he sent a wave of emotion along the connection. A wave of his love for him.
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Date: 2010-05-29 08:09 pm (UTC)He kissed Jack back, drinking in his emotion and letting it fill him. This had to be enough, knowing that Jack still loved him and showing Jack that he loved him. This had to be enough.
He let his fingers go back to Jack's wrist, to gently trace along the flesh in soft circles. Circles that spelled out words like 'forever', things they both wanted but could never have.
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Date: 2010-05-29 08:15 pm (UTC)But he couldn't ask. He couldn't demand that information. So he hid that desire and focussed on the many others that might at least be sated for a while.
He shuddered inside just a little as he was touched there, it felt almost more than it ever had. So unused to contact. And with that sensitivity he could just about feel what was being written. It made his ears burn with the threat of tears. But he wouldn't let himself cry.
Don't forget me, he said in his mind. Because maybe memories was all they'd have.
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Date: 2010-05-29 08:49 pm (UTC)It was possibly a really sappy thing to think, he thought. But it was how he felt, how he'd felt these last fifty years. The Doctor gave Jack part of his hearts and he never got them back, never wanted them back. He wanted things to be the way they were, he wanted them to be the way they had been, he never wanted it to be over. He didn't want this to be as much a goodbye as it was a reunion.
But he wouldn't think about that. He'd think about this, now.
I want you.
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Date: 2010-05-29 08:57 pm (UTC)Good, Jack thought back. That's what matters.
He reached his hand forward to cradle the Doctor's head and he kissed him once more.
All yours he said mentally.
"Even when you're gone."
Another kiss, and he whispered against his lips as he gestured him further along the bed. "Come here, come on."
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Date: 2010-05-29 09:02 pm (UTC)Just now. Now, that was what mattered, like Jack said. Well, thought.
The kiss he gave back to Jack was gentle and slow, and he tried to put in it all of his emotions rather than just his desires.
"I haven't the faintest idea where I should be on this bed," he admitted, giving Jack a little awkward smile. "And there's an edge here and I'd rather not fall off it again."
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Date: 2010-05-29 09:10 pm (UTC)"Don't worry," he said, stroking his hand up through the side of his hair. "I'll look after you."
And he would. It was strange but it felt almost like his purpose; looking after the Doctor. It gave him a reason, and he'd lost that for so long. So if he could only look after him now, he would. Oh he would.
"Just follow my lead," he said and gently moved back from him. It broke the connection for a moment, but not for too long, he hoped. He moved back to the back of the bed, sitting upright against the headboard. With a small move he leaned over and reached for his bedside drawer, pulling a small (largely empty) bottle from it.
"Come sit over me," Jack said as he reached a hand back towards him. "There's no rush."
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Date: 2010-05-29 10:47 pm (UTC)He sat over Jack, and reached his hand to his temple. The connection was smooth, instantaneous, as though they'd always linked this way and always would.
If only they could.
I love you. The words came to the Doctor again, easier this time because it was thought. Simple fact, that. He loved Jack, and that would never go away.
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Date: 2010-05-29 10:58 pm (UTC)He felt his heart skip a beat and he leaned in to kiss him softly, slowly.
With his hands he reached for the bottle and opened the cap, squeezing a little out onto his hand as he reached between them and smoothed it over himself.
"Lift up," he said quietly as he wrapped a hand around the Doctor's side, touching gently to his behind.
And quietly, so quietly in his mind. If you ever decide you can come back. Any time. Whatever reason you're staying away from me, if that goes, I'll be there.
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Date: 2010-05-29 11:04 pm (UTC)Maybe in another fifty years, or a hundred years, he'd go back, he'd see if the threat was gone, he'd---
He silenced that part of his mind. There were things Jack was better off not knowing. It was better off not spoiling this moment together.
He leaned down and kissed Jack again, more firmly, as though he could hold this moment in place forever if he just tried hard enough.
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Date: 2010-05-29 11:12 pm (UTC)The two of them, how things should be.
Carefully, Jack reached under the Doctor and he smoothed his hand over his behind, his fingers slick and gentle with their touch as he pressed one cautiously against him.
He returned his kiss and tried to dive into it. He felt like if the Doctor left, he could sleep then, sleep forever because this wouldn't be there. And so every little moment, every second of it was so much more important.
Now come forward, he thought to him. And in your own time, lower yourself. I'll guide you.
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Date: 2010-05-29 11:51 pm (UTC)He was sobering up, now. The gravity of what they were doing, of what the Doctor had confessed emotionally, it had come back to him.
But he was in too deep to back out. And he didn't want to. He never wanted to go.
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Date: 2010-05-29 11:57 pm (UTC)It hadn't been a long time since Jack had done this, of course, not a long time at all. But it had been a long time since he'd done it with him, and a long time since the act had mattered at all.
But it mattered now.
Gently, as the Doctor moved down, Jack pressed himself upwards, holding a hand against the small of the Doctor's back to hold him there. Keep him.
He opened his eyes and looked up at the Doctor. "Feel good?" he asked softly.
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Date: 2010-05-30 12:12 am (UTC)"Bit sore," he admitted. "Been a while."
Still, it felt very good, Jack inside of him, looking down at him and just being with him. He rocked his body, moving very slightly against Jack without moving them apart, not yet. He let the feeling of pleasure move from his fingertips to Jack's mind.
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Date: 2010-05-30 12:22 am (UTC)He turned his head slightly and pressed his lips to the side of the Doctor's wrist before looking back at him.
Somehow, being with the Doctor made it more apparent just how hard it was to be without him. The pain was almost stronger with him there, because he knew he'd be gone, and Jack could do nothing but think of the shell he'd be after.
He knew that would filter through. He knew it and he found himself apologising in his mind. He didn't want to make this moment sad. He wanted to enjoy it, and so he tried to focus and reach his hand between them, grasping hold of the Doctor and slowly starting to stroke him.
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Date: 2010-05-30 12:28 am (UTC)More stable mentally, he did what Jack had learned that first night they were together, temporarily tying off the psychic bonds between them to keep them linked while freeing up the Doctor's hand. It took two tries, but he finally tied them together, and moved his hand from Jack's temple back to his wrist. He raised Jack's wrist to his mouth and pressed a kiss to the skin there, then retraced the Gallifreyan word he'd made with his finger before, this time with his tongue.
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Date: 2010-05-30 12:39 am (UTC)He just wished that bond would last longer than the few hours it ever did.
The moan shuddered through Jack and made him release his own. He wondered if there was any other sound that was quite as good. And he wondered too when the Doctor had become quite his hot button.
Cautiously and carefully Jack shifted his hips, rocking against him to delicately move inside him. Not too much, not too sharp a shift. He didn't want to hurt him, anything but.
Though, he had to admit, and admit in his mind in a way that was quite clear to hear, that he really wouldn't mind if after he left, the Doctor could still feel him.
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Date: 2010-05-30 01:00 am (UTC)Unfairly sentimental, but it was the truth.
Jack shifted his hips and the Doctor moved with him, letting out another moan at the sensation mixed with Jack's touch. He could be like this, with him, forever. Forever and never, that was Jack and the Doctor.
He placed his own desire and pleasure back to Jack, sharing the sensations, sharing their link and their bond.
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Date: 2010-05-30 01:08 am (UTC)"Listen to you," Jack said softly, almost teasing. "Leave you alone for five minutes and you go all sentimental on me."
Making light of it, of course, but only gently, and only on the surface. In truth it meant so much that the Doctor thought that. Meant so much and made his own heart swell and his eyes tear up. It was good though, and despite the sadness in it, the tears were good ones.
He let out a deep moan of his own and pressed himself a little more against him as he reached his touch into the Doctor's mind, trying to remember how he used to reach for those nerves at the back of his neck. He remembered it, just like riding a bike.
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Date: 2010-05-30 01:20 am (UTC)And there was another positively wonderful cheeky comment lost because of Jack's meddling with the Doctor's nerves. He cried out at the feeling of nerves that had been long ignored suddenly alight with sensation, Jack within him and all around him, and being linked so close.
He moved his hips to try to give Jack a steady rhythm, to give him as much as he was giving back. The initial soreness was gone, replaced by how absolutely amazing it all felt.
He leaned forward and pressed another kiss to Jack's mouth, wondering if the actual act was as good, to Jack, as the image he'd conjured up was.
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Date: 2010-05-30 01:26 am (UTC)As the Doctor moved his hips Jack had more room for leverage, and so he used that to his advantage by pushing up and starting to thrust into him. He tried to remember from those many years ago just what the Doctor liked; what he'd reacted to, and he pushed in a cautious rhythm once, twice, and sharper on the third, harder and deeper before repeating the actions over.
In his mind, he continued to brush at those nerves, and as he was kissed the concentration faltered and his playing in the Doctor's mind drifted, almost wrapping around them, sending currents to the Doctor's lips as they kissed, his own lips tingling against his as he let out a moan.
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Date: 2010-05-30 02:02 am (UTC)Jack. Whoever he'd been before, it didn't matter. Right now, it was Jack and the Doctor.
He never wanted to forget this. He never wanted to lose this moment, this moment where they managed to cross space and time and still find each other, still love each other despite it.
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Date: 2010-05-30 02:11 am (UTC)The person he loved. Because it seemed it had got to the point that aside from the Doctor, all others seemed to pale in comparison.
Jack could hear the noises the Doctor made, the sounds of their bodies together, the rush of emotions between them, and it was beautiful.
"Doctor," Jack moaned back aloud. A name he'd moaned so many times in such a situation, but it hadn't been him, not until here.
He moved a little faster, tilting his hips slightly against him to shift the positioning just a little as he tried to send a mental jolt down the Doctor's spine and into his groin, stimulating it from the inside.
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Date: 2010-05-30 02:27 am (UTC)It wasn't fair that Jack had to have the one night stands to feel like he was with the Doctor. It wasn't fair that the Doctor had to become celibate when he wanted to be in the arms of the man he was with now. It wasn't fucking fair. As he clung to Jack, he wanted to destroy the universe, to tear it apart so he could stay here, with him, and never go.
He moved faster with Jack, and the stimulation shot through him as they sped up together. His body craved this, craved him for so long.
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